Emotional Rollercoaster

Today has been emotionally exhausting and for no other reason than that I'm just having one of those days. It sucks, but it happens to everyone so it's fine. Part of me doesn't really feel like writing anything else right now, but part of me does. So I guess I will start and see how it goes.

For some reason, today I was upset over my breakup with Evan. We dated for 3 years and broke up last September. Yeah, a really long time ago. And I am over him and don't want to date him again. We've started being good at being friends. But for some reason, I was really upset about it today and I don't know why. Either way, it happened. Then I had to take my sister to karate and I didn't know whether or not he would be there or how I would feel if he did show up. I called him to ask and he said he was coming, so it was nice to know ahead of time. Yes I sound crazy. No this is not normal behavior for me. I don't know what it was today...but it was horrible. Anyway, once he was there everything was fine and there was no tension or anything. We talked like friends and it was good. He made me feel a lot better.

...Honestly I don't know what is going on. Everything with Evan confuses me sometimes. Part of the time I am perfectly content and the other part I am upset. Maybe it's because I haven't dated anyone else. But I don't think so, because the past few months have been the happiest in my life as I have worked to become happy with myself. I don't want to need a guy and most of the time I think I don't. I guess I just had a weak emotional moment (or 2 hours) today and it's got to happen occasionally. Either way, I am fine now and it should stay that way. Seeing Evan again was nice and I don't know what else to say. This feels awkward. I will probably regret posting this later. I also am leaving a lot out...but sort of not. I'd also like to point out that this is the first time I've been upset over him in months, so it's not like this is a regular occurrence. It's also weird because it came out of nowhere except that now I'm back home so maybe that's what sparked it. But hopefully this was the one time it will happen and it will be over with. Because honestly, I do like being friends with him.

All right. Discussion over.

I'm going to go to bed now and try to not drive myself crazy over this.


PS- Today I took a break from being emotionally invested in the Middle East because sometimes it can be too much. I thought taking a "day off" for myself would be good, but I ended up being upset about Evan instead. Funny how that happens. Hopefully tomorrow will be calm.