Earlier today I posted about my wonderful day and waiting for a phone call. The phone call didn't end up coming through, but that's okay because I know I will still be able to make the connection soon. What happened is today in my conflict and negotiation class, one of the grad students at my school who has classes with my professor came to speak to us and have a discussion with us about Saudi Arabia, where he is from. I say "have a discussion" because he made it very clear that he did not want to just give us a presentation because we would not really learn anything.
I know I've written about my love of Egypt before, but I also love pretty much anything to do with the Middle East. I find the culture so fascinating because it is so absolutely different from anything I know. The Middle East is also very diverse. For example, Egypt is much more Westernized and open than Saudi Arabia, but many people in America don't recognize that and group the entire region together without giving it a second thought. This is very frustrating to me and I wish I could change it. Maybe this is part of why I want to be an international news/political correspondent in the Middle East. If I could educate people about the Middle East and the people there, maybe they would be able to get over their prejudice and ignorance and realize that they are people just like you and me. Anyway, I was so fascinated by this man's experiences and I had a million questions for him. After class, I went up to speak to him and we ended up talking for an hour. It messed up my schedule I had for the day, but it was more than worth it. I don't want to say much about what he said or who he is, just in the unlikely event that anyone sees this blog. But his life experiences are so fascinating to me and I genuinely want to know him and understand him better.
He was very impressed and surprised, I think, by my passion for the Middle East. When I told him that I want to go to Egypt I don't think he understood that I want to move there permanently. I explained this and he said, "Wow. You are really passionate about this." People often tell me that I am "brave" or "courageous" for wanting to move to such a dangerous region, but I don't think of myself that way. It's what I believe I was meant to do. Everything comes with risks and you just have to accept that. Anyway, this man introduced me to a professor here who is from Sudan and has a lot of contacts in Egypt. The professor said to email him and he will certainly help me out whenever I do go to Egypt. The Saudi student also wanted to introduce me another professor here, but he wasn't in his office at the time. This is who I was waiting for the phone call about. The student was supposed to meet the professor at 4 and said if it worked out, he would call me and introduce us. This professor, who I know of but have never had any contact with, is apparently also passionate about the Middle East and has a lot of contacts there. I was told that he could help me "realize my dreams," which was so inspiring to me. The idea of moving to Egypt and doing international correspondence there is really wonderful but thinking about it logically, it can seem far-fetched. Knowing that reaching out to this student has already gotten me the contacts of these two professors who have so many more contacts is wonderful. I guess that's what networking is. :-) Anyway, it just makes it seem so much more realistic and less scary for me to go somewhere so far away and so very different from where I am.
I've been thinking about all of these things for the rest of the day and evening. I don't want to seem like I am ungrateful for my experiences. It's not that I don't love America or that I'm ungrateful for what I have. It's just the opposite -- I am such a product of America and a product of my family. If I were raised in the Middle East, I don't know what I would be like, but I know that I would likely not have all that I have now and I would not have the opportunity to be an agent of change like I hope to be. I am so lucky to have everything that I have and to have my parents pay for this wonderful school so that I can hopefully one day realize my dreams. I really do appreciate everything I have here and I know what a wonderful place America has been, especially to me. I really am lucky and so blessed.
Why then, do I want to move halfway across the world to a region that is so war-torn and hurting?
I don't know that I could answer that in words. I just know that I have a connection to the Middle East.
It sounds cheesy, but it's true. I feel so connected to the Middle East -- specifically Egypt -- and the people there. I think literally every single day how much I want to be there. I would do anything to be able to live through the Egyptian Revolution. As soon as I first heard of its beginning, I wanted to jump on a plane to Egypt. My parents told me I was crazy and I didn't know what I was saying. Maybe I am crazy. Just yesterday, two journalists were killed in the crossfire in Libya. Another is still in critical condition and yet another was wounded. Last month, two others were killed. 49 that we know of are being held by Qaddafi. Why in the world would I want to put myself in this situation? I don't know. I just know that I do. Unfortunately the violence there is a fact and it is something that I will have to accept the risk of. Knowing that I could be killed is scary, but somehow it doesn't upset me as much as maybe it should. Of course, when I actually get there I'm sure it will become more realistic and scary. But right now, I just accept it as something that is just a risk of the path I am meant to walk.
Earlier today I read an open letter to Tim Hetherington (one of the journalists killed in Libya) from his friend and fellow journalist. It was truly heartbreaking and expressed the difficulty of the position the two were in -- the risk of putting oneself in danger to get word out. One sentence he wrote particularly struck me. "That’s also part of what you died for: the decision to live a life that was thrown open to all the beauty and misery and ugliness and joy in the world." Hetherington had apparently bought a house in Liberia and chose to live there, in one of the most dangerous places in the world. Just like my need to go to the Middle East, this defies logic. But a connection like that -- the connection I feel to the Middle East and that I suspect he felt also -- defies logic. It is so much more than that. It cannot be explained; it just is.
That is what I want, a life open to all the beauty and misery and ugliness and joy in the world.
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